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In my first three years at high school, I had a guy friend who I saw him as my best friend. However, I knew he had feelings for me because he once confessed to me and asked if I could be his girlfriend. I didn’t answer him right away and instead, I took a night to think about it. In the morning when we met each other in class, I handed him a piece of paper writing “the present is not a good timing” as a way to kindly reject him. He treated me very nicely that I wanted to take more time to know more about him before deciding to get into a romantic relationship. After the rejection, we remained as good friends. Sadly, three years had gone and I still didn’t have those feelings for him. Looking back, if I could go back in time, I feel like I should have handled this relationship better to minimize his pain from waiting for me to have feelings for him. Now, we are still friends on social media but rarely chat with each other like the good old days. I feel like I owe him an apology that I still don’t have the courage to say or message him about it.
After he graduated, in my last year of high school, I had developed a crush on my teacher. I knew this is never an appropriate thing to occur at school and so, I had to conceal my feelings and focus more on school and college preparation. I thought these feelings would fade away quickly like all of my previous crushes but they have actually lasted 4 to 5 years. Few months ago, after I completed my four-year college journey, I went back to my high school to visit that teacher and told him that I have started to like him since my high school senior year. I already knew his answer but still decided to open up to him as a way for me to move on. He actually handled the situation very well that I didn’t feel too awkward and embarrassed. But, since that day, we never meet each other in person again. Although I never expect to receive anything in return from him, this unrequited love have hurt me so bad. I still miss and think of him a lot. Sometimes, I think this is the karma. I once hurt my best friend and now, I got hurt from this one-sided love.
That’s the whole story I want to share. Thank you for your time to read my story! Comments and advice for me are greatly appreciated.
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I liked hearing your story, thank you for sharing it.
As we grow older, with time and perspective we realize there are limitless things to regret and wish we could do over. But what it comes down to dear is that you learn from your regrets.
Ok. You wish you handled things better with your school friend. That boy may have gotten his hopes dashed, sure, but he will be alright. You didn't do anything wrong by rejecting him. It would have been crueler to enter a relationship you didn't want with someone you weren't attracted to. Imagine how bad that boy would have felt then? In the end, you made the right call. Could you have handled it better? Yes. But you were in highschool, you were just a kid. And relationships are very complicated. Don't be so tough on yourself.
It's also a sad but normal for high school relationships to part. Some friends you keep, others just distance themselves. Focus on making new friendships, and new relationships.
Anyway, all this means, is the next man who inevitably comes along that shows interest that you don't want to date. You know how to handle the situation with awareness of the persons feelings and gentleness. But you also know to say firm and true to your own feelings.
Lastly, with your teacher, I think you handled that very well. That was very mature of you. I wish I had done that to find closure. But I carried a silent torch for perhaps three years until the the pain and memory finally faded. :')
ReplyThank you for responding to my post! I don’t know how long it will take for my pain to finally fade, especially when the feelings I have for the teacher have lasted for years.
ReplyMy pain faded when I entered a relationship with a new man I was able to love and have that love reciprocated. I know you will find peace from the pain like I did. You never forget the person, but it does go away. It stops aching.
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