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I recently made a duaa, wrapped in a blanket as I don't have much modest clothing. I've felt a pull to Islam for a while now, and I finally gave in to the desire to pray. At the end of the day, all I really long to know is if Islam is worth it. If Allah and the Quran are real. If praying, fasting, and reading scripture isn't a waste of my time. My mom's family is Jewish. My mom generally supports me, but I'm worried if becoming Muslim will hurt our relationship, even though my mom is very reform and hasn't gone to a synagogue in years. My mom isn't against Muslims, in fact I think she has gotten better at understanding and supporting them after leaving Christianity. Still due to her Jewish identity, as weak as it is, there is still stigma between her and Islam. Crossing that line would be hard on me. My dad's family is Christian. Honestly, if I become Muslim I'll probably just cut them off, as I am already not close with them due to my queer identity.
Another issue is that I don't know what I want. What my soul wants. I can't tell whether I want Islam truly in my heart, or if I'm just interested for some reason. Maybe Allah is guiding me. Or maybe I am attracted to the religion because of it's customs, beliefs, or it's similarities to Judaism. For example, two months ago I prayed the sinner's prayer and seriously felt a pull to Christianity, but completely moved on from it the next day. Maybe praying is a stress releasing outlet for me. I went through a Catholic phase, and prayed the rosary every day for three days straight. Maybe it's psychological, not spiritual.
I just want advice from Muslims, or really anyone I guess. What should I do? I don't think it's worth it to join a religion if it will weaken my relationship with my mother and distance me from my Jewish identity, if Islam turns out to be fake. I want to follow my soul, but I sadly don't know where it is leading me. I need spiritual guidance.
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As a girl from a Muslim family who secretly left Islam 3 years ago, I'll give you my biased opinion and advise you to not embrace Islam. But it's up to you. Just read the translated version of the Quran A - Z and remember that once you join Islam, you can't leave it or else the punishment for leaving Islam is death + hell.
The rest is up to you. I find the Judeo-Christian values more worthy.
You can't satisfy your soul by changing religions. You have to change your thoughts first.
Queer identity is not a part of any religion, be it Islam or not.
I recommend you change your values first. Step away from LGBT and join the red pill.
Religion should be the very last step. Find your personal values first. Educate yourself on all religions first and understand where your values lie. Then join one accordingly.
Spirituality and religion are two completely different things.
Good luck!
ReplyThank you for the comment. For me, my queer identity is something I can not leave behind. It definitely has authority over my religious beliefs. I've been researching Islam and it's opinions on queer identities, and I honestly don't know what to think. There are queer Muslims out there, in fact I'm friends with one. I strongly believe I can stay who I am and practice a religion.
I appreciate your advice on finding my personal values and then looking into religion. It's hard to figure out my values. I've always seen the general values of being kind, intelligent, healthy, and obedient to God as a part of Christianity and Judaism, both religions I've been in, though the latter more so. Researching Islam I see these all present. From the classic treating others the way you want to be treated, the Islamic love for education, the need for cleanliness and physical fitness, and devotion to God, these key values are all present. I guess deep down I am a river person. I believe all streams lead to the same river.
Spirituality for me has come in interest. I have a great interest in religion, and I use it as my main source to express my spirituality. I am constantly considering religions, and it has become a big part of my life. Islam is one religion that really
Replystands out to me.
The past few hours I have been considering my thoughts more and more. And I think I've decided to stay Jewish. I think it can bring me many of the same experiences being Muslim could. It can bring me close to God, keep me and my mom's relationship strong, and build my confidence as a Jewish person. I think right now I'm just confused, and I don't know what God is trying to tell me, or what I'm trying to tell myself. Could I see myself become Muslim tomorrow? Absolutely not. But ten years from now? Who knows? I'm just waiting to see what the world throws at me I guess. Just trying to find peace with myself and everything around me.
ReplyRead the Bible and quran and see which one you prefer even though they are similar.
ReplyBecome an atheist. Uncomplicate your life. Why not.
Reply