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Let us assume that you fall in love with an unaware person A and you are currently obsessed with him/her. Usually, it happens that you cannot perform regular daily tasks of your life without thinking about that. Undoubtedly, a very difficult situation. Indeed, you can actually feel impared, and it could be particularly bothering because in some sense you do not have the control over it. What makes the story actually more tough is that the reference person is in turn obsessed with another person B, which of course is not you. In the present case, person B is an ex partner of person A. In the majority of cases, person A is in a everyday-struggle with him/her-self and hence tries to solve this situation by discussing with B or by substituting B with other people. These individuals are compliant with some characteristics which makes them part of a set that apparently you don't belong to. This is not necessarly due to appereance or personality, in fact there can be also other causes which however i will not cover herein. The question is: what is the probability that doing the best possible move you can actually succed? And even if you achieve one of the objectives that you believe are worth, e.g., having sex, are you sure that it will lead to a long-term relationship? Although in general it is impossible to answer these questions, in order to take a decision, some useful concepts can be thrown on the table.
First, if you are not apparently included in the aforementioned group, it is reasonable to assume that it is actually the case. Indeed, person A could intentionally not sending you non-verbal messages for the exact same reasons that, therefore, excluded you from the group, which in turn would also mean that a possibility exists depending on the strenght and the unknown nature of them. Clearly, it also exists the possibility that you could not be able to well interpret such signs, if there are any.
Now, let us pretend that you do your move and you also achieve a short-term goal with person A. Are you sure that person B is actually out of the game? It is not even necessary that B intentionally makes a move per se. Trivially, person A can bring B in his/her life again. Someone could argue about the fact that you didn't do your job well if it occures, but it does not always correspond to the truth because it involves the irrationality of A's emotions, which are in practise impossible to control. You can certainly mitigate or even avoid the issue by putting effort and caring into it but you cannot be absolutely sure about the outcome, especially in the beginning.
Let's talk about you now. Is it worth to try anyway? Well, it depends. Given the above, it is very unlikely that you have it in the bag. But, if you are willing to take all the risks, why not? However, keep in mind that in case of failure it can be emotionally worse than now. Way worse. For instance, if person A is a good friend of yours, this could lead to the loss of that friendship. And, in any case, you will need time to recover. Nevertheless, this does not mean that it could not be fine for someone. Indeed, for some individuals those emotions are unberable and an eventual reject from person A is not so terrible after all, because it can turn them off. Are you part of these people? The only way to discover it is to give it a chance. Usually, rational and pragmatic individuals belong to that category.
Clearly, like for everything, whatever choice comes at a cost.
In the end, you will be fine. That's just another frame of your life.
GI
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ReplyLol. We can only keep ourselves around the people we enjoy and trust. Loyalties are formed regardless of whether someone is a friend or simply someone in the past. Respectful people who see they are hurting someone’s feelings, should back out in accordance to what is causing the most harm to everyone, so that it ceases. It’s the only way to be free and clear to love the correct one you should be loving.
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