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One thing that people don't understand about me
1 month ago · · Avpd,
its not that i dont wanna change. its rly that its not the easiest to. idk. i know it definitely seems like i dont try, that maybe i dont even want to get better.
theres so much grey area that even explaining what i mean by that is difficult for me. but, i think when you start to live in fear of all the things that make you uncomfortable, at some point you become so familiar with the isolation that every once-normal thing has become foreign to you.
ive said i just needed time, but over 3 yrs has passed from the moment i realized that there was something wrong with the way that i was living and absolutely nothing has changed since. so what good is time if i cant seem to get over myself. its useless.
i looked at the world through rose-tinted glasses as a child and now approaching adulthood, i can see the ugly and the not so pretty. its terrifying. they say to enjoy your teenager years while they last. and i know now that i probably should've realized sooner than later that being a child isn't a forever thing. and that 7 yrs isn't as long as you think.
if i wanted ppl to understand me, i'd travel to the future to retrieve some ultramodern tech that might possibly give them a glimpse into my mind and then cross my fingers hoping that they'd come out enlightened. unfortunately time travel hasnt been invented yet.