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what is love in life nothing but false hopes in lies? If someone tells you that life in love is the best thing that can ever happen to you it's a lie. Life is really nothing I don't understand why people say to live life to the fullest. Why would I when I don't really care for it, so far life for me has been nothing but pain and stress, since I was in middle school, I had to deal with nothing but pain and hardship. No one ever thought this though why because I would always put a smile on my face and act like everything is fine. When I needed someone to talk to there was no one there for me that's all I wanted I just wanted someone to just sit in and listen to me someone I could just talk to, and they can tell me that everything is going to be okay. All I had was myself to talk to about my own problems and myself telling me that it was going to be ok. If I was to tell this to anyone, they would say that none of this is true that I people that I could have talked to because I had my family. But that's what they don't understand I couldn't talk to my family because all they going to do is judge me and make more feel more shit about myself. I'm not just sitting here saying that I have the worst life because I don't there is always going to be someone else that has more pain and stress than me in my life that needs more help than me. And I know this which is why I would never compare m life to someone else. Love is just like a war to me a war that I can never win no matter how hard I fight I would never win. I always end up losing and left somewhere to bleed out alone. That is how I see myself dying sometimes next to the person I love and that loves me back but somehow, I would still feel alone even when there right next to me. I can't count how many times I wrote a goodbye letter to my loved ones. I know that this might sound crazy but when I think about finally leaving this world a smile comes to my face and I feel happy. I know that I have people that would miss me when I'm gone but I can't really think about them if I want to be happy. I always thought that death would be so peaceful that I would finally feel like am where I belong. I can't talk to anyone about this like I can write about it because they would just say that people are dealing with way more than me. At this point in my life, I don't see the point of living I don't even know how I can be so important to someone. Who am I to be important to anyone I can't do anything right in the person am with now I can't even show him the right love he should have. No one ever showed me how really loved should feel or should even look like. I don't really know what he sees in mw or why he even stays with me. I won't ever be able to give him everything he wants not full anyway. All I'm doing is just making it harder on him bring more pain in stress into his life. Sometimes I feel like he was better off without me. I just make everything a mess and fuck everything.
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People who are mentally healthy won't understand you. Because only neurotics feel pain, stress all the time. You will always feel lonely. Because this feeling is about inside and not outside. The solution is to go to a doctor to improve your mental health.
Replybut that's the thing I don't feel as if there's anything wrong with my mental health, I just feel like there's something wrong with as a person
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