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I'm tired of feeling alone and not even worth your time anymore.
This isn't what I wanted from a relationship...to feel lonely, hurt and invisible.
I'm trying to focus on myself right now because you hurt me more than you will ever know. And so I throw myself into my work. Pretending I'm OK, trying to be strong and wishing you didn't keep crossing my mind.
I miss feeling love. I miss not having anxiety. I miss not being scared. I miss feeling whole. I miss it all.
I don't know who I am anymore, but I'm slowly trying to build my fortress back up again around me while I work it out. Brick by brick.
You shouldn't need to take time to work out if you love someone or if you miss them with the distance. I'm sure it's just one of those things you should just know and feel.
It hurts to feel like some sort of option, it hurts to not feel worth any sort of effort or gesture, it hurts to just feel like I'm here but not here.
Sounds so stupid but I wish on stars for better times, I pray for anyone who is out there for some sort of guidance, I just continue hoping...but I'm running low on hope. I don't think love even exists for me anymore.
As always,
LonelyGirl
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