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I wish someone understood how I was feeling and I wish someone would tell me how I was feeling is normal. I just wish there was someone I could to who has also experienced what I have so I wouldn’t feel like the only person affected. I walk around my school seeing smiles and hearing laughing and everything is in slow motion. I close my eyes and all I see is him. All I hear is him. All I imagine is going back in time and seeing him show up for the first time all over again. Before I made the worst mistake of my life. Before everything changed. I’m still holding onto everything that’s gone because it hurts to much to let go. I know that it’s over and my mistakes are irreversible, but it will always hurt more to admit that than to keep on hoping and dreaming that one day time will turn back and I can meet you all over again.
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You are normal 100%. You are not broken and are definitely not broken because of this. Life seems to have a way of breaking us before preparing us for better. The best day of your life is not the best of what is to come. I think we learn to appreciate the great moments because of the difficult times we deal with at other times.
You will get through this. If this person missed how wonderful you are, that person is missing out. Making mistakes is human nature and ‘the one’ that is meant for you will not only make their own mistakes but also will love you through and forgive you for yours. Hang in there. You are everything you are looking for.
ReplyThis person was my teacher who I had a thing with so it’s more complicated than you’d think, but thank you so much for this advice. It means a lot xx
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