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I'm not in the mood of texting my contacts today. To give context to you reading this: I'm still healing from some events. Had my share of false friends, disrespectful people and opportunists. They're everywhere? Yes, but, this is not what I'm seeking now. I'm tired of hearing this whenever I vent.
Last year, it hit very hard on my self-esteem and social aspect. I had no one to vent. Even my (former) close friend couldn't do a thing for me, wasn't paying attention. And I did my best to express myself clearly.
It hurts like hell to be treated like you don't matter, constantly made fun of, silenced, pushed aside, used. I went through this in silence. It's a habit to say “I'm fine” when things are not. People I've met checked on me, I didn't trust them 'cause I have reasons to think who's really by my side or just faking.
For most of my life I've been worried about how people treated me, family, neighbors, and this damaged badly how I see myself. I thought I was safe to meet new people, try to see things a better way. Don't isolate or stick with the same contacts.
Okay, it has been 365 days, and it's still fresh in my mind. When I vented to people I trust, I got zero support. So, that's why I'm struggling still.
Hopefully, I'll find better support lines, go into therapy and practice what I always did for everyone: Listen. Provide help. Try to find solutions.
Thanks for your patience if you've read all the way here. I hope to see your advices, I'll appreciate them.
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