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How I wonder whether I do things right
My thoughts betray me in the dark of night
Longing to do good, my intentions resent me
I am the victim of sorrowful envy
I wrestle to continue with breath
Does the anguish suffice with death
Does continuing on bring a joyful path
I am the victim of mental wrath
Faith is bright and guides my way
Yet revolving sins is where I bathe
I know the way the truth the life
I am the victim of unending strife
Will I pull through or leave this realm
That answer I know already
Whether by my hand or other means
death is promised regrettably
I long for thoughts to cease at night
And have my soul be still
they only grow louder with each passing hour
I am a victim of solitudes chill
But yet I lay fading away, depression blights my hope
How can I have faith so strong in God
Yet long for death unprovoked
I smile and waive and say "I'm okay"
Inside my mind im screaming
Yearning for the pain to fade
I am the victim of futile dreaming
I toil away and grind down this body
For money to build sandcastles
Looking back it was never worth it
My happiness only unraveled
I'm a shred of a man, an ember at most
A sliver of what I once was
How can a heart still beat through grief
I am victim because it does
So whats the solution to lifes venomous kiss
Toil, depression, anxiety, perplexing thoughts persist
I'll give it a day I say everyday
And press forward once again
But my heart grows feint and eyes grow dim
I am a victim of my own dismay
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