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I KNOW I deserve better. I can FEEL pain in my heart, and I NEED to let it out somehow. By venting, to random strangers on the internet. Because that would keep me sane--for I don't know how long. It is tiring, I always feel the need to express myself, I am constantly looking for somebody to talk to about all my deep and inner thoughts. I care so much yet so little. It is really funny how emotionally neglected I feel in my own home. And the worst part? I can't even ask for support because there is no such thing as mental illness according to my parents, I am being overdramatic and they have it way worse. It is just toxic, and I WANT to feel okay. When will I feel okay? I let it impact me so much and sometimes I just want to let it all go, just go.
I want to feel free.
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I hope you feel safer somehow soon. I don't know you or anything but neglect is such a frustrating thing to deal with. I don't know if that's an exact word for my childhood, but I understand your pain. Not that I want to overshadow your struggles or anything. It's like I want to shout at them that I'm right here struggling and it baffles me how someone can't see a person hurting right under their nose. You are incredible! You are amazing! And you matter. No matter what happened, no matter who you are. You are important and the world just wouldn't be the same without you. You can do this!
ReplyI'm not the author. But wanted say that I can totally relate to your comment about how people close to you can be completely unaware of your struggles or how the attention of their struggle is unbalanced to yours.
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