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I feel so fed up, I don't know what to do. growing up my dad was never around he left my mum and me but my dad was also abusive towards my mother, because my dad was abusive towards my mother, growing up my mum neglected me of the love I deserved because I was a reminder of the man she hated. i was neglected by the love of my father and my mother so iv never felt what it's supposed to feel like to be loved and now I feel like I try and find that in men because I want to be loved so badly! i was also recently told when I was younger my mum tried to give me up because I was a horrible reminder of my dad. 7 years ago my mum finally found a man who treated her with respect, after all, I seen in my life I saw my mum go through boyfriend after boyfriend and each time I prayed for a family, and then we finally got one...but it been split up my step dad was the only thing I have to a dad and now he's gone I have no one. i have no one to talk to I have no one to turn to and I'm breaking down day by day but I'm still trying to be okay and take care of everyone else. i recently opened my own business doing lashes yay me and I just qualified as a make up artist but I was told by my nana i need get my head out my arse and get a real job and that my business isn't real its just fantasy and its not going to be successful. i don't understand why everyone is so against me i feel like all i do is try and make my family proud but it goes noticed and i just get bullied really. growing up i never really understood why my mum never wanted to be near me and why when i tried to talk to her she dismissed me and why when i tried to have a bond with her she wasn't interested but now it all makes sense I'm soon going to be 20 and all i want is to feel what its like to be loved. My heart aches every day from being disregarded. i was always jealous of my younger brother because my mum always had closer bond to him than she did me and growing up i hated my brother for it but i now know its not his fault he's a child he's done nothing wrong but i don't know what to do anymore i don't have friends or a boyfriend I'm alone all the time all i do is work to provide for my mum and all i want to do is disappear no one would relaise anyway i go noticed still in this small house.
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You wouldn't go unnoticed to me. I have to say, I am horrified. I physically opened my mouth from shock reading about what happened to you. I am so so sorry, could we please talk through some sort of instant messaging if you are ok with that? (For example Discord, Telegram, ect.)
ReplyIf you would like my discord, here
DaveDaDot123#0585
I'd really want to talk to you privately, maybe it would be more comfortable for you too, and I could respond to everything much more quickly ^v^
Reply