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child abuse thoughts
1 day ago · · Explicit
im reading therapy paper work and wanted to get some shit off my chest
reading this paper work makes my hairs on my neck stand up sometimes cuz i know im out of the whole dad situation now but even reading "if we suspect theres child abuse happening we will notify police" still makes me scared for my family lol.
i think this is common amongst folks like me where they didnt wanna tell anyone when they were younger because they didnt want their family broken up and were terrified of being taken away or in my case, probably get ur family deported. but i also wanna shake someone, younger me, school therapists, school teachers, any adult seeing me struggle like why didnt ANYONE do ANYTHING.
it brings up a lot of pain and shame and regret. it makes me scared to anything even now. hell EVEN NOW im scared of my mom doing anything if she gets too mad despite the fact that she hasnt pulled anything physical since 2018.
but i have to remind myself that its gonna be fine, i was able to talk about this with another therapist before, at least the dad stuff. i dont know if i can bring up my mom. sometimes i feel like im faking my memories of her, even my dad sometimes. its all very painful and disorienting and i wish i could get over it like my sister, mom, cousins, any family member who's been through something similar or worse have. its like im the only weak one whos actually been effected by getting hit.
alright, im gonna eat a muffin and sleep now