What are you looking for?
2 months ago · · suicidal, · Explicit
I feel like I can't do anything right. I know I am probably wrong, but I feel like whats even the point of trying anymore if I just constantly fuck up. I think I'll end up mediocre just like most people. I have a lot of potential for my career but I don't think I have the skills or motivation to make it and I think if I don't make a name for myself and really make a change then what's the point.
I'm stuck in a really shitty group project right now. The people in my group are in the year ahead of me and have already done research for the university (I did medical R&D this year instead). They already know so much more about the topic than me so I am mostly going along with what they say for the project but they're steering it in a really difficult direction and I don't think they'll be willing to do the work to get a good grade for the semester. I think they just want to do something really impressive and ambitious which is cool, but I just want to pass the class and move on with my life.
Also I said some things about my friend to some of my other friends and apparently they didn't want me to. I apologized and they are sending me memes and stuff again which makes me think they've forgiven me but all the time I still think that all of my friends are mad at me and will never trust me again.
With all of this combined I just feel like shit and never want to leave my room anymore. I am too scared of what might happen to me. I want to not feel bad ever again and I don't care what happens to me anymore. Bye