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Disclaimer: Hi, everyone. I find myself in an extreme need to vent. It's personal stuff. No names mentioned. Nothing. If you find this entry offensive somehow, please, ignore it.
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TW: suicide threats. Abusive relationship. Low self-worth and self-esteem.
Good evening, Lord. This letter isn't a demand to change my life overnight. I just want an intimate talk.
My friends already have their problems. I don't feel like bothering them with mine.
My parents are arguing. They say hurtful things to each other and me.
Death is mentioned during this. Like, who would be at peace knowing the other is gone and won't come back?
My father thinks this way.
He threatened to commit suicide, so my mother wouldn't leave him during the early years of marriage.
He's too old now. Battling diabetes. Cancer survivor. Things are too stressful.
I've been feeling very depressed. Losing my will to live now and then. I thought things would get better when I get a job. Nothing changed. I can't feel they are proud of me. The good things I can't taste as they truly are. Here's what's wrong with me. The pure intentions I perceive as a prank, not meant to savor. Now, the disheartening stuff that happens to me, or I manage to witness, are crystal clear.
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