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Late night thoughts
2 months ago · late night thoughts, · Explicit
Touche. I got my own words thrown back at me by mom despite being pissed off by an arrogant asshole. Its true though life is short nothing should keep us from being happy. People or jobs. I let a job keep me so unhappy for so long. In part though I was manipulated by my dad telling me NO YOU CAN'T QUIT IF (MY NAME) DON'T WORK "WERE SUNK".
WELL WHO THE FUCK SAID IT WAS MY JOB TO KEEP you AFLOAT and mom ANYWAY FROM A HELLISH STRESSFUL JOB dad !!????? ANYONE? THAT'S RIGHT IT WASN'T MY JOB OR RESPONSIBILITY you JUST MANIPULATED me WHEN I KNEW FAR TOO LITTLE ABOUT THE WORLD AND WAS INTIMIDATED TO KEEP YOUR DRUG HABIT UP
To think (even though its the past) my own parents would manipulate me in that way despite knowing what I had to put up with (hot temperatures, heavy lifting, every day stress, childish back bitingcoworkers, etcetera etc etc). That had to rank up there in the most toxic of work environments which also used intimidation. They tried to unionize it because they took away a break and said well leave it as it is then we were told "do your due diligence" by the then president. The sourest people worked there. Many many bad memories. Yes its the past. And helped shape who I am (sure as hell not like them).
Later a few days back dad was like " when I heard no safety inspectors and all manual lifting ( instead of using hydraulics like they should have for example giant T and I beams 100 lbs plus up I the air manually like 5 6 ft to a moving chain not stopping) is why he wouldn't get a job here"
But heaven forbid he look out for me and advise me to quit like I should have and wanted to BECAUSE THEY DIDN'T CARE ABOUT ME AND REPLACED ME IN THE END. At that time my weekly check and his monthly one disability was all the income (not defending his heartless using actions) in the house. Yet mine was also spent on their cigarettes too. Alot got took and not paid back because they were on drugs bad. I was naive then. They took advantage of it. So its over but I still live with memories of it. One of my leaders was a black woman. She literally told me "I don't like you". She was a bitch at times too and showed favor to others not me. That made me mad doublely. My mistake for staying there too long. I regret it too many mean people, chaos, heavy lifting. It was hell quite frankly mom n dad didn't understand. I was about to do the unthinkable if I hadn't got fired.
Anyway I refuse to be unhappy for anyone if I can possibly help it. Work public pedestrians parents etc. Its hard though because mom n dad are still miserable people.
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