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I still hate myself for being played like a fiddle by my female best friend, when in actuality she didn't really care about me at all.
She wanted nothing to do with me when I needed her, she never wanted anything to do with me when I was depressed.
I was always there for her, even when I was dying inside, I compartmentalized it and helped her. Why couldn't she have done the same? Why did the last year we spent together mean nothing to her? Why did she tell me she loved me when she didn't even want to try to help me?
Why does she not comprehend that she hurt me so badly? I just don't understand Nahis. Why do you hate me so? I love you, but you are so bad for me I had to kick you out of my life. So why, WHY aren't you out of my head?! It's been a full month since I blocked you on everything.
I hate that I allowed myself to get close enough to love you. I hate what you've done to me. You wanted to take a break from one another when my ex-gf/fiancé committed suicide. You cancelled our plans for your b-day 2 months in advance.
You flaked on our plans for 2 weeks straight prior to that, yet you still wanted to be friends?
You ranted and raved about your new friends while not wanting to be around me. What makes any of that OK?
How could someone who claimed to have once been romantically in love with me, do that to me?
I hate you. I hate the person you became. This isn't the person I fell in love with. That person would have never hurt me like this. Just stay away and let me keep what little good memories I have of us untainted.
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