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I thought he was a great man. One of the best I had ever known. He taught me about respect, kindness, generosity, integrity... he taught me right from wrong. He was a role model in every sense of the word and I looked up to and admired him unendingly.
Now I find out he's not who I thought he was. He's done some very bad things. He's not a good person. He's someone I need to stay away from. And I'm devastated. This is worse than grief because not only have I lost one of the greatest men I ever knew, but I've learned that he was never even real to begin with. I feel like I've been played for a fool. How did I not know earlier? Maybe I'm not such a good judge of character after all. I really thought the world of him. He taught me so much good stuff. Many of the best parts of me come from him. That's hard to accept now, knowing what he is. Part of me wants to throw away all of the parts of me that exist because of him, but they've made me a far better person than I ever would have been without him. How can someone so bad have given me something so good? I only ever saw in him a kind, respectful, wise man. He cared so much. Or did he? I don't know what to believe anymore. It's making me question the other people whom I deeply love and trust now. Are they who I think they are? Can I really trust them? I would have trusted him with my life. I throw my loyalty so fiercely behind the people I love, and this is what I get in return. I don't know what to think anymore. I'm so tired. And so deeply sad.
Crying for the life mentor I've lost, whom it turns out I never really had.
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Accept the truth
Move on
ReplyYou got this. But stop romanticising it. All humans not gods pr effigies. Grieve and move forward. Accept yourself as you are.
ReplyYou didn’t need this person before he entered your life, you don’t need him now.
Take this as an experience, like you went on a trip ,had a bad time there but gained knowledge and maturity of not making the same mistakes again.
You’re now back to your daily life. Get a haircut, pamper yourself and appreciate your growth from making the most out of a bad situation.
ReplyThere's nothing more painful than having the fabric of your character and reality torn down. I really feel your pain at the moment and the toll it takes on moving on. Trust is the most valuable tool humans have in constructing the world around them, but as quickly as it can be torn down, it can be rebuilt. Your path might be painful, but I'm hopeful that in that journey, it will take you closer to someone truly deserving of your trust and companionship.
ReplyThank you. I don't know what else to say to you but thank you, I appreciate that. It's hard to handle because he was so important to me for so many years, and I really did think the world of him. The part of me that's in denial still wants to, if I'm being honest
ReplyEvery saint has a past, and every sinner has a future. And the reality is, even saints relapse from time to time, and those that return from their darkness - get stronger. Give space and time to this situation, accept we're all flawed, and have a little hope. Best of luck.
Courtesy notice: the following includes a reference to a book that contains writings over 2000 years old which are mostly parables about human nature, both vile human nature as well as moral human nature, parables that are meant to teach us to learn and grow, including the teachings of Christ Jesus. No religion required, and better yet: no public displays of devotion required, although the former and latter are admirable if practiced freely out of one's own free will and without the threat of being beheaded. Some bullies will label this "trolling", so "change the channel" now if of no interest to you.
1 Thessalonians 5:11
Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing.
Mark 12:28-31
And Christ Jesus said the 2 greatest commandments are:
Love God first and foremost.
Love your fellow-being as you love yourself.
From following or not following these, all good or evil cascades, respectively.
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