My Unsent Letter

Dear E,

The thing is, I can't forget you. The girl you fell in love with is pretty confused, yet sure of what she wants to do. What I want for you is to move on and live your life how you want to-- but without me in it. I still care about you, Jeez..I'm trying my best to move on from you, But like in Yuna's song: "I find myself waking up at the beach again". The waters that we've swam in weren't meant for us to stay in, we're now even built for the water..yet we still engulfed ourselves in it. Did I love you? Yes I really did, but what it all for? I know that it will take time for this to pass, and when I look back, I'll laugh. But will I laugh? or will I cry instead. The pain and distrust I've caused on my parents, The guilt, worry, fear, sadness, confusion, anger, lust, comfort, happiness, love?..All of everything I've made you feel. I truly learned a lesson from this experience E. We can't be together, we can't love.. all the dreams we've created, all of the things we said we'd do, all of the places we said we'd go to, all of the things we said we'd do to each other, hugging, cuddling, kissing, holding, looking into each others eyes, feeling each other for the very first time.. Start a family. They all won't happen. And man, do I wish that we could've met another time. I..wish we met a better way. I wish we met face to face instead. But would we have carried a conversation? Would we have just glanced at each other and walked by? I probably would've looked at you and thought you were handsome, not knowing all of what could've been. I hope you get a hint of what I'm trying to say, and.. when you read this you understand. You are a really beautiful man, but like me, you have so much to learn. I think its time we thought rationally. Instead of crying these tears, and being caught up in our heads, we look at the truth. We need to move on. We WILL move on. I don't regret meeting you

With Care,

S