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I feel like im underwater sometimes. Drowning the thoughts of shame, not being able to breathe, I want to the bubbles to come out of my mouth. As I take exhale my last breathe. I want the water to kiss my eyes as they close.
Being a kid you never know whats wrong, you can never tell. So when parents are using needles full of heroine, you think thats normal. When fathers yell and grip your arm till bruises form, you think thats love. When mothers choke your neck until you cant breathe because you have a smart ass mouth, it is because they love you, you tell yourself. I have been always very closed off. I use drugs and sex as a coping skill, to help ease out the release of anger. My priorities are all out of place. Thinking back on my life has been so fucked up, from my childhood to adulthood.
I dont think im going to receive a break tho
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If you know that your priorities are out of place please make the effort to put them in place, then you might feel a bit better.
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