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I (21F) began a romantic relationship with my best-friend (21M) of three year. After being such close friends it seems odd to suddenly being involved romantically. And we both hadn't been in any relationship before and I am confused about setting the pace. Physical stuff is new to us since we both are virgin and he didn't even kiss anybody till this day. I have a high libido I think, even though I hadn't done anything, I can be horny sometimes. And I'm confused as fuck about the sex issue.
Yesterday while we were cuddling, I began kissing his neck since he tickles. Then he kissed my neck after making sure I have consent and everything. He is the gentlest and nicest guy I have ever met. And after that it escalated quickly. He was on top of me and then I climbed on top of him and suddenly he grabbed my butt and make me move and he cummed I guess because his pants were stained at the morning. We were fully-clothed at that time. No coutis or anything. It was so strange, foreign, new and at the same time so irresistible and full of pleasure that I cannot have enough of him. We slept cuddled. And when we wake up I kissed him intentionally and we did it again. While we are talking I said "I wouldn't even imagine that I will be comfortable doing something like this, it is so strange to me" and he said sth like " you like living in the extremes so I expected you to do this stuff" And somehow that hurts. Sex is such a taboo for me while growing up and I am still not comfortable with it. And I even experienced some traumatic events such as being kissed without consent. He knows these things and he know me very well...
I am so upset that now he wont take me seriously, he will think that I am a whore and wont love me anymore... I am usually a little childish for my age and maybe that was what he likes and now he wont like me because I am not innocent for him anymore. I dont know... I dont have anyone to take advice since my family is so religious. I know the text is too long and too messy but I have to vent some of this stuff.
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You are thinking too much. Just enjoy each other for now. Your sexuality makes you unique. Don't try to hide this side of yourself from him. Have fun but also be careful. You don't need added complications this early in the relationship.
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