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Life I will never have
1 year ago · · Unexpected Love,
Day dreaming is very common in my daily life, it is my way to escape my reality and it makes me feel, for a second, that I am alive again. I have a family and daily tasks and responsabilities have killed the spark in my marriage, we both know it, we just keep doing what we do every day, pay the bills, take care of the house, work etc, it just never stops! Its been 3 years since my spouse gave me a real kiss, it is usually just the "fast I need to do this" kiss and most of the time not even that, everything looks perfect to everyones eyes, if you were my dad or my sister or my coworker and you are reading this, ha! You would never know it is me, it is sad, it is depressing a little...I recently went to a work function and thats when things started to get crazy for me, I met this person and this person is also married, older than me (we will call this person A) and A doesnt have a clue that I like A, my spouse knows this person and you could even say they are "friends"? Ive heard S (my spouse) talk about A before none stop, how great A is and about As personality, if you are married and reading this, Never Ever talk about your friend like that with your spouse lol JK but really, don't! It is not even "my type" per say but I just found A so fresh, so grown up, I dont know; since this day I have not seen this person, in fact, I barely had a conversation with A but since that day I cant stop thinking about A, cant forget how it felt to touch A's hand, as our hands shaked, formally, shaked. It's been 2 weeks and it is driving me crazy, I keep dreaming on how life will put us together, how I will feel loved again, how I will be treated better and it feels so good to think that I will love again that my chest hurts, Im hurting, barely eating, I have lost interested in so many things that I used to enjoy, this love story that keeps playing in my head will never happen!! and this hurts, it hurts so bad that is killing me, is eating my mornings and nights and it is just letting my have the leftovers, the few minutes where I can live the life I will never have.