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Ever since the first chimes of the first fresh start since ….
There’s been a sense
A subtly deafening whisper I can feel
In my ears and through my blood
The louder the cheers
And the brighter the lights
Across the perfectly white-lined grass
The stronger it gets
It’s closer than my shadow
But not close enough to touch
Pushed closer by the innocence
Of the crowded candy isle
I can hear hi-
It
Breathing down my neck
As families burn their turkeys
And leave “well enough” alone
I can almost see it’s footsteps trailing mine
in the snow
Before they’re hidden beneath
Shiny red and green wrapping paper
and gum drops that taste like
Holiday fear
Like the fear lying in wait behind me
Under the genuine smiles I took so long to make
The smiles that slowly break
As I think and as I wait
For the first ball to drop
Since …
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