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I'm an undergraduate in my final year with only 2 months left. I'm following an IT degree. I work full time as well
Yesterday I had a very strong panic attack that lasted for hours and I'm still riding that panic wave as I'm writing this.
The trigger was my final research project, my code wasn't executing plus we have an group assignment and I was assigned to a group with members that I'm not familiar with.
( during my 1st year, I had a very bad experience with a group project where I and another member had to carry out all the weight and there too we were assigned with random students)
I'm just so scared of failing, I only have 2 more months left for my finals and research presentation and I just don't want to fail.
I have never been a best student (regarding marks cause I didn't like studying) but I turned my life around when I started university and even passed the most hardest subjects to me.
I just don't want to mess up everything in 2 months just because. I live in an Asian country so without a degree, working in IT would be impossible for me. I don't want to embarrass my parents and family.
I tried everything to get myself calm down from crying to breathing experiences, talking with friends, my mom, just laying around. But nothing works. I feel so sick I just don't know what to do.
If you have any advice, kind words please tell me.
Sorry if it's a long message but I'm struggling to find words. Thank you in advance.
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I can relate to you , but all I have to ask is worrying about it making you feel any better ? Overthinking is what you are doing right now and by doing that you will not get anywhere and will just end up wasting your time.. Everyone is not same just because you had bad experience with your first group project doesn't mean that it will be same Everytime.. I am not sure but if the people who will be your companion in this next group project might also be final year students then why would they want to mess up their projects as well? plus people will only take advantage of you if you will let them to do so ... so stand up for yourself , trust me it'll feel great.. So rather than worrying about something which hasn't even happened yet , better focus on the things you have right now with you ... utilize your time and stay busy and if you are going to keep this overthinking up then I can guarantee you, you will really regret it later
ReplyIt's okay to feel scared and it's understandable too. You have worked so hard towards completing your undergraduate degree. You said you turned your life around when you started university and passed the hardest subjects too. It's your effort that has brought you this far. Trust your ability to see yourself through to the finish line.
If you have not been able to get the code to work as yet, take a break. Work on another course or focus on another task and then come back to this. Stepping away and/or shifting focus helps with resolving a task faster. I cannot explain why this happens but it sort of helps you see things differently which would probably help you resolve your issue.
Also, if you feel you are doing more in a group setting than you should, I would suggest communicating that to the other members. Something that may help is to create a list of to-do actions as this would not only help delegate tasks but there will be more definition in terms of what needs to be done. Doing group weekly checks on the progress of tasks may also help. Gives a realistic view of what is to be accomplished also makes people feel like they need to pick their own weight.
This moment of panic will pass. You will make it. Believe in yourself. :)
Also when panic takes over, try to connect with nature. For example, touch the grass on the ground, pay attention to what it feels like - is it wet? Or listen to the sound of rain hitting the leaves/ roof/ etc. Make note of how you feel about it.
Something that helps me is staring into the sky. it reminds me of how tiny I might be if someone was looking at Earth from space. The realisation that I may be as tiny as a speck of dust in this universe sort helps me feel like my problems are tiny. It relieves the burden I feel sometimes and gives me this reassuring feeling that in the larger scope of things, even if things go wrong it will not make much of a difference in this universe. This analogy may not help everyone but it sure helps me.
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