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Dear my lovely aunt.
you left me alone. with no warning and it broke me into pieces that i dont think anyone cant fix. i wish heaven had visiting hours the first thing i would do is give you a big huge and ask why? why didn't you tell anyone you had cancer? it triggers me so much when people bring up cancer. i never felt this drained in my entire life you really shot a hole through my heart and that i hope one day you come and visit me in my dreams or i can feel your presences near me. god knows how many times i cry thinking why you? i wish i can be with you right now i feel so lonely and lost without you. getting high is a way of my copping cause talking to someone is like talking to a brick wall and all they can tell me is that prayer is the way to go but personally i like being high to forget that you returned to our heavenly father and i know as much as you told me not to smoke and do all the bad stuff i promise you that i will try my hardest to stop but just the thought of you not here, the memories playing back in my head while you were still here haunts me every night. kissing you goodbye replays daily coming up to your casket seeing you not being able to talk, laugh or smile anymore really got to me and as they were burying you i couldn't watch sober i cried so much as they were bringing you down I NEVER ONCE thought this day would come. i hid behind my dad and told him i couldn't throw the rose in its hard to see her like this. man life has been stabbing me in the heart and i hope one day it will all make sense again. i also hope that one day i can come visit your grave without stopping half way crying down to my knees and going back to my car because i cant do it. i love you so much i miss your contagious laughter and beautiful smile. continue to watch over our family.
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