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I don't know anything, I'm generally stupid all around but if there's one thing I do know is that I know when I'm about to breach a depressive episode. It's a horrible sick feeling really It's like my stomach is filled with anxiety and hurt and the vomit is right at the top of my throat and I'm just waiting for when it'll expel out. Generally, nobody likes puke, and when you're the one vomiting and needing help, it just scares people away. There doesn't go a day where I don't think about doing bad things to myself and everyone underestimates me. They underestimate because I've gotten really good at masking my depression in places where it's "inappropriate" to have feelings, which for me is everywhere I go. I feel like I need more help, more help than just talking to my therapist, but I'm scared. I'm scared of what my family will think of me after and what my friends will think of me, so ill probably not end up asking for serious help. I think people will think of me as reckless or maybe they won't take me seriously and that I'm doing this for attention. Everything is so hard for me and it's hard for me to not think of making it easier for me and easier for everyone else.
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I know it’s scary, I’m sorry you’re going through this. You should tell a trusted family member or friend one on one. Someone who you know loves you. I know it’s scary because they may judge you, but it’s even scarier to think of what may happen if you don’t tell them. Depression tells us lies about how no one will understand or take us seriously because those lies keep us isolated which is exactly what depression wants. DO NOT ISOLATE. Isolation sucks and I wish I would have told someone sooner. Don’t let your depression win. And yes, someone you tell may not take it seriously. It may happen. But don’t let those kind of people deter you from getting the love and support you need. And know the difference between being unsupportive vs being supportive but not understanding. Someone you tell may not understand, but if they love you they will want to support you as they know how. It may not look the same or like what you want exactly, but it will be support. And support from someone who loves you is what you need most right now. And if all else fails, reply to this comment and I will be more than happy to help you through this and be a listening and supportive ear. But first please try to tell your loved ones because they know you best and love you the most
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