forever and always.

that's what we said. forever and always. we would stay best friends and love each other forever, and always.

i told you, just over a week before you passed, how proud i was of you for getting clean. and i meant it, with every bit of my heart, i was so unbelievably proud. i told you 3 days before you passed how i couldn't live this life without having you by my side. but you relapsed, and they day that i was most terrified of, happened.

i am mad at you. i told you i was terrified of this happening, and you promised me it wouldn't. i cried to you about how much i love you. you said, forever and always. it is not fair. why did you leave me alone when i needed you most. i needed you here, with me, in my life.

although i am pissed at you, i love you. i always will. and i hope you are in a better place now, and i hope your pain and suffering has stopped. i will never forget all our times together. and i hope you passed knowing that you were so very loved. not just by me, but by so many people. you will forever be loved. and i promise, i will do every single thing we planned. and i know you'll be right there with me.

i love you, forever and always.