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3 months ago · · Stress,
(I'm a boy, this becomes important later)
A few weeks ago I was switched to a new school/school district and I don't know a single person here. I'm desperately trying to make friends but it's so hard because this is a very preppy school (we even wear uniforms, it makes me feel like Im in a movie) and I feel like I don't belong here. Everyone is either Harvard material or ridiculously rich and I'm neither. My social life is currently dead.
I have a group project in my English class that started last week and one of my partners is this girl who I'll call K. K is very quiet and shy. I've noticed that she doesn't look at me when I talk to her about the project and she gives me short answers then quickly walks away. She looks extremely uncomfortable everytime I'm around her and I didn't know why because I thought there's no way she's known me long enough to dislike me already. The first day of the project she was sitting next to me (not voluntarily, we have assigned seats) leaning as far away from me as possible. Like damn ok.
Today K and I stayed after school to finish up the project in the library. It was supposed to be our whole group of 4 but one person had sports practice and the other had an ortho appointment. The library has several individual little study rooms for group projects and meetings etc. so we were in one of those. K got there first. When I walked in the room the door fell closed behind me and she asked if we could keep it open. I thought it was a little weird that she specifically wanted it open but I didn't really care. After that we sat there in almost complete silence. I eventually asked her if I had annoyed her or something because I don't like when people are mad at me and If I had done something to make her dislike me, I wanted to apologize. She immediately started crying and said she did like me but she just isn't comfortable around any boys. I didn't know how to react to that because 1. I obviously didn't expect to make her cry and 2. Does that mean I scared her or something? And the door thing has me trippin too like did she think I was going to do something to her if the door was closed??
I just told her it was fine and that I'd finish the project by myself if she wanted to go home. We were almost done anyway so no big deal. After she left I just sat there for a while, processing. I feel bad that I make her uncomfortable even though idk how not to because I can't just... not be a boy. She didn't give me any details or anything and I didn't feel like interrogating her while she was crying. It's gonna be so painfully awkward when I see her tomorrow. I really hate that she's uncomfortable around me and I want to change that but idk what to do about it. We have to sit by eachother everyday at school anyway (stupid assigned seats) so I might as well try to make friends with her right? ....Or at least NOT make her uncomfortable.
This is definitely not a good start to the school year