so i stopped caring.

He's the reason i stopped caring, because he stopped caring abt me.

In august, i met this guy, Jackson. He was an Absolute sweetheart, he was so nice to me, treated me like a fucking princess. We got to know each other for some time, then he finally said it. those words that i thought would change my life, would make me happy. We made it official and started dating. It wasn't till a month after we got together, He stopped talking to me. I thought he ghosted me. I was so hurt, he left me like that for over 7 weeks. The wednesday that just passed, he finally replied back. I felt like I was dreaming. He told me how sorry he was, and that he was dealing with family issues, and how he couldn't get into another relationship with me on his mind. He asked me to be his girlfriend again. And with no hesitation, of course I said yes because I missed him.

Friday comes, later that day he asks for a picture of my ass. I said i don't know to him because I never sent him anything and it triggered my past. In my past, the last time I sent nudes, something horrible happened, which i'm not comfortable sharing. I also got raped at 10 (Im 15 now) which still triggers me. Anywho, I kept saying no but he's like "Fuck the meaning no means no i'm gonna keep pushing it". I told him why and his exact words were " i just feel like I deserve more yk, I mean you want me to be happy and you love me right?" those words were the most sickening words I have ever heard him say to me. I finally gave in and told him later. I sent them to him and that night he asked for pics of my breasts. I said to him "That isnt enough huh" and he said no. I told him that i had videos in my phone from a long time ago and he got mad at me because I never sent him those. He decided to pull something right out of his ass saying "Ik your cheating on me" like what? All because I didn't give you the videos ? That's fucking ridiculous. Then he said "I been knew u were cheating on me". Oh yea Jackson ? If u been knew that i was "Cheating" then why didn't u say something sooner. I told him "If you knew that i was cheating then who am i cheating on you with" and he said "Idk you tell me". at that point my blood was boiling. I didn't want to hear it anymore. I never cheated on this man and he knew that. I did nothing but give him love and affection. He says "Smh i'm done with you" i started to scream. "Ur such a liar" i didn't lie . "I'm done being in this relationship with you" and i bawled my eyes out. I couldn't take the pain anymore. does he know that after he blocked me I took a fucking knife, slit my wrist over four five times? does he know that I took over 12 random pills and fucking overdosed? Yea, I really wanted to fucking kill myself that night. I couldn't take the pain that I was given in that hour. I wanted to fucking throw my phone away. so I stopped caring. I have so much to say about him.

I'm done with love. It's fake, whats the point in getting into one JUST so u can come out of one crying, heartbroken?