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Unsent letter : I miss you
2 months ago · · Loss of a friend,
It’s me again,
I went back to our apartment today.
I asked my mother to remove our photos and objects from you while I was away
Finally it was even harder to get into this room without any presence of you, no recall, nothing.
I can’t bear you to be erased like that. Don’t say it, but I’ll put the pictures back in place next week.
Tonight I looked at the biopic of Gregory lemarchal. Suffering from mucovicidosis. If you knew the number of similarities with you.. I cracked. And I feel sad and relieved now.
Tears can still flow after all
No news of your family or friends.
But pictures of you are circulating on the networks. All saying goodbye and I still can’t bring myself to delete your contact.
It’s often said that once a person leaves, you only remember their good ratings and good times
If you knew how true that is and it only amplifies the guilt I feel
I went to a party after, I drank. Too much. Like to forget you when I didn’t want to
I don’t think my brain understood
Because with every notification on my phone, I still think it’s from you.
I met someone you know, someone nice, who could take care of me
I hesitate to start a romantic relationship
In fact I think that any pain other than your loss would be more bearable.
I want to feel something else than your absence
I often think I’d rather die in your place
Good night H, I love you