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I'm crying and idc it feels good to finally cry over all the people that stress me out. I just want to be alone from the people who pretend to be my friend and want more... They always want more. I just feel trapped in exhaustion trying to deflect these types all the time.
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Middle aged and, when I think back on my life, it's easy to reference different time periods as chapters of my life. And, in each of those, I've had different friends.
A new chapter can begin when if you migrate to a new school, when you go off to college, get a new job, move to a new town, etc. In this, you start meeting new folks and many whom you used to be friends with, fade away.
I know many, many people that I no longer stay in touch with but we didn't separate on bad terms - there was just a change in life for one of us, or both of us, is all. In all of this, though, I do have two best friends with me now who have been with me since my high school days. We don't live close to one another but we stay in touch with phone calls and try to visit each other as often as we can.
I've certainly known people that I would rather not be friends with because they don't have those "friend-like" qualities about them.
It seems you're currently stressed because your "friends" keep wanting more and more which means, I suppose, that you're either doing something for them, giving them something, or both on a regular basis and you're now burnt out. As a friend, I think it's normal to do for the others but that certainly has to be a two-way street, yes?
For my two best friends, they know that if they called me with an emergency situation I would get up and walk away from ANYTHING I'm doing and would be on the road before calling to ask what the issue is. But, to that point, I know they would both do the same for me.
If you feel you doing all the giving but getting nothing in return, especially when you're in need (and this doesn't have to reflect finances or money as it could just be that you need someone to vent to or, well, anything at all), then you may want to let these people know you're going to start hanging with a different crowd.
If you're comfortable with it, you could explain your situation so you can justify why you're moving on. If this makes you too uncomfortable, you could simply start rejecting their offers to hang out and visit. Eventually, they'll get the hint and stop inviting you out for things.
If you explain the situation, though, they may change their ways. It could be that they aren't doing this on purpose and aren't aware that you feel the way you do. It could be an issue that could be resolved so you all could continue to be friends.
Whatever happens, we're wishing you the best!
Good Luck!
ReplyI suspect there is a pattern: use people enough, they will eventually move on, and yes, you then will need to move onto new people and start your process all over again with the using.
ReplyJust remember, the only person you owe anything to is yourself. If someone is too demanding of you, and making you feel like you're not enough then simply leave them. You are worth much more than that, and i'm sorry you're feeling like this. You are amazing, you are incredible and you have a great future ahead of you, it's just down to you to reach that potential of yours.
You got this, I wish you all the best and remember - you are never alone, and you are worth it.
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