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the same thought again
1 year ago · · Stressed out, · Explicit
Again, maybe my third time writing about the same thing.
For some reason I thought I'd be happier, I'd live my life to the fullest and talk to everyone and do all sorta shit. I thougght I would once I knew for sure I'll kill myself.
But now I've been more depressed, everytime it's the little things that get me. When my dad asks who'll take care of him when he's old, what college I'm going to, when my mom tells me how happy she'll be once she knows I'm happy for the rest of my life.
These shit got me trying my best to laugh it off, got me talking for 5 minutes nonstop and I can't even remember the original topic, I'm just trying to change conversation.
And whenever my friend talks about how will I survive alone out of highschool, the truth is I'm not going to.
I don't know what to do with myself, I don't want to tell anyone but everyday, it went from crying rarely to everyday. I'm still crying right now, I know what's going to happen and how this ends and fuck does it hurt.
Shit, all I wanted was to live a life where I was someone better. What the fuck is up with me lately?