Just anxious

I have so much anxiety, I have never been this scared, the last time I cried this much was probably last year and not because of school

Tonight is very different and difficult am struggling to sleep, am so used to crying then falling asleep almost instantly, the tears are even struggling to come out, which is how I typically deal with stuff, I've always thought am so strong I don't even cry over stuff but the truth is, I Try, I do try to cry but the tears just won't come out and honestly am not gonna force them, also my brain is very good at forgetting about problems at least for a little while, but like I said tonight is different...

Oh well I think I've accepted that I won't be crying tonight, I've been trying like crazy, damn this also means I wouldn't be a good actress, goodbye my silly dream of being a lead actress in one of the films I would have produced

Mmmh I think am actually calming down now, actually am not sure, I don't know if my feelings have anything to do with my periods, I mean I feel anxious now but I had an overwhelming amount of sadness in the afternoon, I couldn't even pinpoint why, could be the periods I don't know