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2 months ago · · Need Advice,
I’m starting to have suicidal thoughts again. I’ve had depression for over 4years I started to feel better and finally found some good friends. I’m 19, and I have huge self esteem problems, since I was very young I’ve never liked my mother. She never acted as a mother. She was an alcoholic and drug addict. I hated her, 2years ago she got better and actually was clean and we started to function as a family. I’ve finally decided to tell her about my self confidence issues( I have hirsutism) and she supported me. Of course we don’t have much money to afford all the treatments but I’m happier. Few days ago her boyfriend left her and when I came back from work( I was in school before so I haven’t seen her all day) she was drunk, I yelled at her and cried myself to sleep. The day after again she drank, and yesterday too- the thing is I ignored her, and she lied to me about her drinking. I was just crying for some reason. And now that I’m frustrated from not doing well in school, liking my best friend,low self esteem, my mother starting to drink, and just everything I feel so trapped. Since I’m so sad I end up being mean and aggressive towards people and now I just had fights with everyone. Idk what to do, I feel probably the lowest I’ve ever felt(if not counting me attempting suicide) what should I do idk anymore