What are you looking for?
1 year ago · · LGBT,
I am polyamourous. I have minor feelings for a girl i sit next to at lunch time and sometimes speak during break times. We chat online as well. I also have a girlfriend who i love a lot, we have been together for 2 years. Ever since starting a new half-term i feel as if my feelings for this other girl has caused me to feel empty/emotionaless. This has been drifting me away from my friends and my girlfriend. With all thats been going on for me it's been hard to have feeling for my girlfriend and my crush i suppose thats what she is and everyone else in my life.
I feel like my feelings for my crush are making it hard to love my girlfriend which i'm not liking because I love them but i've been feeling to empty to pretty much everything and everyone. At the moment I know i have feelings for my crush but i don't want to. My girlfriend means so much to me. Knowing this its been upsetting me. I want to hurt myself but i've been clean for 3 months. My head of year is very proud of me for lasting so long.
I don't want to hurt myself.
With how me and my girlfriend have been feeling this week. we have both just kind of took a break in a way that we are together just giving the other space. I've been having suicidal thoughts badly this week. Iv'e thought of it 2 times during a two week period which is not as it uasally is but this week when i feel very low and im alone, i will think of suicide. This is multiple times on a daily basis.
I don't want to like this other girl it's affecting me badly. I want to focus on me, school, friends, family, and my girlfriend. What should I do? :(