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Controlling? Clingy? Or Just Not Used To Love?
2 months ago · · Need Advice,
(DISCLAIMER: Sorry its so long)
Ive been with my boyfriend for about 6 months now. We met in highschool and reconnected this year in February (got together in June). Since the day we've been together he's been so tentative and sweet, he caters to me and makes me feel important. But he also makes me feel.... Controlled?
He seemed to be the healthiest relationship ive ever been in, but here lately I haven't been to sure. I can't tell if its me just self sabotaging or if he's actually being controlling? Here me out;
Im 22 (F) I work at a office, a full time collage student and I smoke the devils lettuce (this is important to the story)
He's 23 (M) wanting to be a police officer
He told me that he didn't want me smoking to get in the way of him getting into a police department so we agreed that once he applied and got accepted into an academy that I would stop to be supportive. He ended up applying to another PD and didn't get accepted and a few weeks after I asked him if It was okay if I kept doing it and he told me that he would like if I continued not to until he figured out weather he wanted to continue to try and be a police officer. I expressed to him that I felt like he just didnt want me to smoke that it didnt really have much to do with his career and he says "Do you think im pulling this out of my ass" so I leave it alone. That was roughly 2-3 months ago from today (11/19/22). About 3 days ago I expressed to him that I wanted to do it and it resulted in an semi heated conversation. During this conversation he told me that "if that is a make or break thing for you then we need to reevaluate what we got going on". Let me just say I never said it was make or break I just expressed that ive been wanting to do it. once I asked for explanation on what that meant he continued to say "idk". All of this just reassures my suspicion of him just not wanting me to smoke.
Aside from this, I find him kind of clingy. Because our schedules are backwards we only get to see each other about 3-4 times a week. I am what most people would call anti social and I get very overwhelmed with having to be social all the time with my job and school and trying to maintain friendships and other things. So I told him that I wanted to start taking Sundays to just stay at my house and just kind of be in my bed alone and he did not like that at all so we ended up agreeing on every other Sunday.
One more instance is today, we ordered food online and I asked him if he could just go pick it up and I stay home since it was literally up the street and I didnt want to get out and he threw a fit saying he wanted us to go together and he didn't want to go alone, so I ended up going with him.
Moral being, I dont know if its me not being used to love, or if its him. Let me know what you think!