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I know its the holidays. Thanksgiving is in a few days. If its not from super edgy tones, the house mood is fairly depressed. Mom tried to deny it but you can tell. Then she said yeah the holiday's can be depressing. We don't have our family get togethers anymore. All my grandparents have passed so I guess they got a right to be depressed right now. Its not the same without them. I miss them too. This life is only temporary though. Blink of an eye compared to eternity. I try to be as humorous and laughing as I can because I mean why not. Laughter is the best medicine. Even the Bible talks about it. I try to laugh at something daily. Yeah I have some depressed feelings too. I'll basically spend Thanksgiving alone because I have to watch the dog. Mom n dad will go to my aunt's who hates me which is fine. Mom's like I'll bring you something back. Whatever. Id rather eat at a restaurant alone then. But I can't. So I'll make the best of it somehow. Last year I was alone on Christmas. Won't be any different. I hate they're playing Christmas music on the radio already. I'm half Grinch half whatever I guess about it. Idk. I know the true meaning. But people are cold here. Uncaring. My cousin lives 20 mind away NEVER talks to me. He's too busy with his own life plus acts upppety snobby on top of partying and stuff. Idk I don't get him. He used to be big on church then his ex cheated on him. He out his faith in a pastor instead of God my opinion. He didn't used to cuss it was so like a convent the few months I stayed with him long ago. Now to hear him cussing saying junk like I don't give 2 fks about blah blah blah. I'm just like what happened to you? You're the one who used to tell me Jesus is the healer. He taught children's church. Now he's opposite of how he used to be. I can't judge him I just don't get him. The fact he won't speak to me don't help my feelings of him. He's not better than me. He was so mean as a supervisor at his work they had to remove him people complained about his being mean. Its true he was to his kid too. Now he's a mess. So whatever live in your world then. You ain't better than me though.
Ahh whatever I'm just venting a bit.
Idk why my family are the way they are those who are left. My aunt b she's very caring I love her and uncle r. But the rest don't talk to me. Have it your way. I'll do me then.
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