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Yesterday my father came back home drunk and I knew he was going to cause a scene like he always does ... but for some reason Yesterday my heart was beating fastly than usual ( I thought it was because I was scared) I tired to ignore it but with the shouting it started to beat even faster like I could hear it and then I thought I should try to calm myself down and then I heard him hitting my mother and I just felt tried to take deep breaths to calm myself down but it didn't work I could not breath ... I texted my boyfriend I think I can't breath and all he said what happened... dumb me started searching for a youtube vedio to breath along with it( I didn't wanted everyone to worry) but in the meantime my mother came to sleep with me because that jerk didn't wanted to see her face and then she saw I was breathing heavily she turned on the lights and asked me what happened , she was panicking as well but words weren't coming out of my mouth , I was desperately trying to catch my breath then somehow I managed to say that I can't breath ... she called everyone in the house , my elder sister removed my jacket and made me lay down on bed straight and I started to calm down somewhat but tears where falling down my eyes continusly.... then my father came and all he did was cussing ... my sister got the oxymeter and checked my oxygen level and it was Below normal level but eventually I was calmed down ... then I slept with my mother but tears were still coming down but there was no emotions at all .... I checked my phone and there was only single text from my boyfriend that what happened to you suddenly? And I just said I am fine now and I'll sleep, you go to sleep too ... In the morning he asked me again what happened last night I said I think I might have had a panic attack and he said what were you thinking I told him it was just my father and he said I should not think about it ... that's it ... maybe I am overreacting but I really felt like he simply don't care ... if I were in his place I would have tried to help him in that moment considering I was the first person he reached for help but he did not do that for me .... He still didn't cared about the details and is behaving like nothing happened at all which is making me feel even worse ... I don't know If the direction I am thinking is correct or not but I truly felt this way ... I don't know what should I do or think anymore...
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In no way am i a expert but i am positive you were not overreacting. From the sounds of it i believe you were having a panic attack. I'm not sure if you vent to anyone but everything will be ok. You will always have the right to feel how you feel. I know what its like to not know what to do or think, its a constant struggle for myself. Just remember to stay strong and keep your hope up!^^
ReplyYou want support and you haven't gotten it from your partner. I'd say you want to be loved and you don't feel that at the moment from others. And these things are fair. Your boyfriend may not care or may not understand or may just be giving you the same advice he follows. You need support and if you can, try and speak to a counsellor or similar ❤️ . If you get it again where you can't breathe, do exactly what you were trying to do before and find a YouTube video. Actually prepare it beforehand so if you need it asap, it's easily available. The other breathing tip i can give is to breathe through a straw if you can't breathe. And cry properly and loudly, even if into a pillow as I'd say part of your not breathing is linked to you trying to be quiet. ❤️❤️❤️
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