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i'm anxious again. i'm not even surprised at this point. i have so much that i have to do and i didn't even do ANYTHING the whole week. it's thursday, i have three things due on friday, but i did nothing. i didn't study for anything, i only started like one thing. i planned to do something today but obviously i didn't.
i don't know why i think my friends don't like me. maybe they do. but i have a feeling whenever we talk in group chats i'm saying Something wrong. i don't know what it is, and it's even worse if i'm right. i think a lot of my jokes don't really land well. i'm not really good at anything. i don't know what to do. sometimes i think they just put up with me because i'm already here, and i'm nice enough. they aren't bad people either, they're very good people.
i mean i could ask my boyfriend for reassurance, but i'm too nervous, and i just want to let him rest right now, i know he would help me, but i don't feel like telling him. or anyone. if i do, it wouldn't fix anything because i'll keep being nervous, i'll keep feeling inadequate. he just messaged me. he asked if our friend took any pictures in school today. i said i'll ask them. he didn't read my reply yet. thats okay i think. i mean of course it is but i'm paranoid.
i think it's my fault that i think everyone wants to avoid me. i did that. i got too tired and would ignore people for hours and days and give short responses. i don't know why. they didn't deserve that. like my friend i just mentioned they'd say it's okay and that it was a while ago and that they forgive me. all that i can do is be better in the future. i don't know if i can be good to them. i don't know if i can be good to myself.
i don't know, i'm gonna have dinner.
tldr: i don't think i'm good at anything and i need someone to reassure me. or tell me i'm completely right HAHA
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You must be good at something. You haven't found what it is yet. You are being jumpy within yourself so lie down in your room, play relaxation music, breathe deeply and relax yourself all over starting with your feet work your way slowly up your body including your arms and legs, neck, jaw, face and head. Keep listening to the music and breathe deeply and relax all over. Learn the difference between feeling relaxed and feeling tense and jumpy. Stop negative thinking about how you communicate with friends because thinking about it won't do anything. Concentrate on being happy and relaxed with your friends and other people. Go with the flow.
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