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I keep looking through these posts. I don't know what I am hoping to find. I don't want you in my life, but I selfishly want a window into yours. What are you thinking? What were you thinking then? Maybe if I look long enough I will find the apology that I deserve, but know will never come. Maybe you'll post that you regret it. Maybe you will post that you hate me, you'll never forgive me for the things I never did. Maybe you'll say you'd do it all again and worse. I just wish I knew. I wish I knew if you grew from this. Maybe, if you did, this pain wouldn't feel so painful anymore. Because atleast it wouldn't have been for nothing.
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