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so I had a very close friend of mine who passed around 6 years ago. it was a suicide. id known the man 12 years. meeting him at a young age is what stopped me from being a shut in like the rest of my family. as an individual who lacks basically any self confidence, seeing him and how he carried himself. well it sparked a change in me. flash to today he is gone. all because a heartless woman cheated on him and threw that information in his face mid disagreement as leverage. she was pregnant and told him it was his child. which he messaged me about. Being so excited for! calling me his child's uncle. (this was 4 weeks before his death) i was as happy for him as he was for himself! idk what to think anymore. i have no trust in any woman. my best friend is gone. and i cant stop being mad at him for going the way he did. i always had a stronger picture of him painted in my head. i was young 23 when i found out. i thought "I'm young it will go away just never forget your friend". but its clear grief doesn't work that way. being a man in this world is the absolute worst. im 27 and yet it feels like the worlds taken everything i ever thought i wanted. what can i do to finally start feeling and thinking normally again.
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