Worst breakup

Hello, I need advice on some relationship issues, and I have no one to talk to, so if you are reading this, please help me

I’ve been in a relationship for almost 3 years now, and I really think he is the love of my life, but lately I’m doubting it.

We met on tinder, when I was 18 and he 22. He was my first boyfriend. At first we really get along. We started dating like a week after we met. I fall in love pretty fast, he was like a dream. He listened to me, cared about me, treated me right. Our first year was amazing, and on our first anniversary I was pretty sure we were meant to be. After that things were still good for us, but then, in the end of last year and beginning of this year I started feeling like he was a little distant with me, not as caring, idk, just not really the same. Then on the week of our anniversary, I remembered telling him I’ve got him a really good present (that I was planning 2 months before) , and he looked surprised, like, he wasn’t even aware that we were about to make 2 years. Ok, I kind of let it go of it, and then, on the weekend of our anniversary (on Sunday) I was pretty excited, because he really surprised me on our first, it was one of our best moments. So I packed my best dress, high heels, makeup and stuff and went to his place, just to discovery that he didn’t plan anything for it. He said he forgot, and then took me to some random place. I let it go, but later then we kind of discuss that again and he said that it wasn’t a big deal for him, he didn’t care that much to take me out. That broke me. But ok, I let it go again.

After some time I wasn’t feeling very well in the relationship, so I told him that I still loved him, but wasn’t in love with him anymore. I told everything that was bothering me and he said he was going to change. Ok

He was kind of better after that, I was starting to feel happier

Then he started interviewing for companies abroad, and that really shook us apart because I knew that once he was gone we would break up, I wouldn’t take it, so it was some pretty emotional months for me, but he didn’t seen to care that much about it.

Then on valentines day he really surprised me, he planned, treated me like a queen. It was really nice. But then he got another interview, and then I spend the rest of the day crying, it sucked.

After some time I started to feel down about us again, like, I felt that he only changed for that time, then he started drifting apart again, but then mixing everything together, I was kind of getting used to the idea that we would break up, if he got the job abroad. But then he ended it, he said that he didn’t wanted to leave me here and he would stop looking for jobs abroad.

I was happy for a moment but then I felt he didn’t actually meant it. Idk, it just was really weird.

After that we never actually talked about it anymore. But then again, he was cold, and distant. But I didn’t said anything

Months past and I was in that limbo over and over again, happy, unhappy. Than last month we kind of had our first fight and we been weird ever since

I still don’t know if I am the only one that feels that way. I know what I feel, and I told him a lot of times, and every time he says he is going to change, be a better boyfriend, but then it always come back to this. It is weird.

Also, I still live with my parents, and I’ve been saying that I want to move, and I said that if he wanted, we could live together, but he didn’t really liked that idea. He says that he wants, but then he stops talking about it, and when I ask he says that he feel like we are not ready to it.

So I don’t know, it’s like we are ok like this, he doesn’t want to move forward.

He says he loves me, but he doesn’t act like it at all. He is not caring anymore, he used to say such pretty things about me and about us at the beginning, and now it’s gone. He didn’t misses me anymore. He doesn’t complements me anymore.

I don’t feel like his girlfriend anymore, I feel like a friend, for when he wants to hang out and have sex.

Even sex is bad, we used to have sex a lot more, really more passionate and hot, and now I feel like we are a married couple that have sex once a week and thats it.

Sometimes he just ignores me, in his house or on the phone too. At first we were glued to each other, and now it is weird to hug.

He just got back from a trip to his hometown, and before, when he traveled, the first thing he did was ask to see me, even for lunch for one hour ou for me to stay at his place, this time, he didn’t even said he misses me, he didn’t ask to see me.

We used to ask each other for marriage at the beginning, like a cute little joke, and now even talking about moving together is weird.

I’ve already told him multiple times the stuff that bothers me, and he says he is going to change, but never really does. And I ask him, what can I do to make things better, because I feel like we both need to be better, and he says nothing, like everything is ok to him, everything is fine, and I know it is not, but he doesn’t talk to me.

I am tired of feeling like this

I don’t want to break up, because what we had and have it is really special. He is my best friend, I’ve never get along with someone the way I do with him, I live him and I live what we have, but I’m tired of feeling down half of the time. And the worst part is that it seems like I am the only one that cares.

I feel like I am not as important to him as he is to me.

Like, he is comfortable with me, because he is used to it, to have me around, but that’s it

Idk what to do anymore

I don’t want to break up, I live him so so so much, but I just can’t stand feeling like it is a one way relationship anymore. I am sick of letting things go and ignore my feelings because I want to stay with him.

I know I write a lot, but if you read it, please help me figure somethings out, I have no one for that.