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I need advice on a relationship. A little over a year ago I met this guy and we became pretty good friends and then a couple months into our friendship we hooked up. I really liked this guy back then but there were some other factors that made it difficult. My friend was dating his friend and they had a pretty bad falling out and she would make me feel bad about talking to him so eventually I decided it wasn’t worth it anymore. After that we were on and off friends and lost touch for a couple months. We recently got back in touch about two months ago and I’ve fallen really fast for this guy all over again. He makes me feel amazing and is genuinely the sweetest guy ever. However he isn’t really the type of guy to have a girlfriend so I don’t know if there is a future for our relationship to go anywhere. I think that I’m falling in love with this guy but when I think about my future it isn’t logical that it works out between us. We have a pretty large age gap and I’m still in college and I don’t know where I’m going to end up while he is settled into his life. When I think through logical scenarios I know it’ll never work out between us but he makes me so incredibly happy and I never want to lose him. I just don’t know if I should risk the heartbreak and continue on without caring what the future holds or just give up. But then I think about moving on from him and I feel like I’m already past the point of moving on without heartbreak. I’m just so confused because my heart is telling me one thing and my brain is telling me another. I also have a tendency to convince myself things are bad when I’m actually happy because people have hurt me in the past and I don’t want to get blindsided anymore so I don’t know if my brain is just telling me it’s not a good idea because it’s trying to shield me from getting hurt again. Sorry this is kind of all over the place my thoughts were jumping all around as I was writing but I just can’t sort through my feelings by myself and I need some advice
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ReplyI was ahead of you with this. I already thought that you were trying to convince yourself that this situation is bad when you are okay before I read that this is what you tend to do. Because of your past you are expecting to be hurt and having heartbreak so if you keep thinking like this it will happen. You should communicate with this man and ask him if he thinks of including you in his future, or where this relationship is heading.
ReplyI think you should go for it because you clearly feel happy with him and atleast you won't regret not giving it a try ... we never know how things might go between you two ... and the thing that there are Chances of heartbreak doesn't these Chances also exist in every possible relationship you can have ? It's like you are not ready to walk because there are Chances that you might fall ... maybe you can ask him also does he also want a relationship and I think you should only continue things with him if he is ready to have a relationship because if you get stuck in any other situation with him it will make you sad eventually... so if he is also interested in dating you then you guys can try and see how things go
ReplyRomantic love is beautiful yet oh so fragile, and sometimes oh so conditional.
If you make an effort to stop yourself from falling in love, then you'll always wonder what could have been. If you just dive into it, then you'll never wonder what could have been. But of course make sure you have your boundaries clear, e.g. time invested before you decide you're wasting your life away. Best of luck.
1 Thessalonians 5:11
Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing.
Mark 12:28-31
And Christ Jesus said the 2 greatest commandments are:
Love God first and foremost.
Love your fellow-being as you love yourself.
From following or not following these, all good or evil cascades, respectively.
Love...that powerful, invisible force that cannot be denied; even atheists live and die by it.
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