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2 months ago · · Rant,
I MISS HIM. I FLIPPING MISS HIM. I miss his smile. i miss his touch. i miss his kindness. i miss seing him everyday. I MISS EVERYTHING ABOUT HIM. I MISS HIM. BUT I LOST HIM.
i lost him... I LOST HIMM. no no no no why why does it always happen to me, why why why??? Why do i aways lose people close to me? Why can't I be myself around people and tell them about my pain. Why couldn't he stay? Why did he leave when I was at my lowest, he didnt even know i was dying inside... but its fine. He'll feel guilty if i tell him now. BUT I STILL MISS HIM. Sieng him every morning. Everyy afternoon. Going on dates. Everything! I LOST HIM. I MISS HIM. I LOST. This cruel world won. I forvere lost. Lost my happiness.. my man... mi amor... I wanna scream. i wanna cry. WHY DID I LOSE HIM FROM EVERYONE. Why did i lose my happiness. He was my everything. I might have a life ahead, but I can't imagine it without him in it. Why did i have to mess up. I shouldve stayed queit... I shouldnt have ever showed my pain to him... He was going through a rough time, but me showing my pain mad ethings worse... thats why i lost him... Now ill keep it in mind. Never get too close to anyone. Don't love anyone either. Keep your pain to yourself. Keep your love to yourself. My pain only hurts otehrs and makes them go through pain.I'm not worthy of anyones love. Forget anyone... i only ever wanted him in the first place... but its fine... ill get ove rit soon... hopefully...
NOO WHO AM I KIDDING. I CANT GET OVER HIM. HE WAS PERFECT. HE WAS THE ONE. HE AS THE LOVE OF MY LIFE. I know theres others BUT NO ONE COMPARES TO HIM. Hes the one i want... I was just not meant to be happy. I deserve pain. Its the only thing that I can get. Ill end up losing everyone and everything but not this pain... this pain. itll always stay with me. WHY CANT IT LEAVE. Why do i always have to be hurt. Why do i hurt people. Why WHy WHY WHYYY. I MISS HIM. I LOST HIM. I LOST ITT. I LOST AGAINST THIS WORLD. HIS EVIL CRUEL WORLD.