What are you looking for?
You made me doubt...
1 year ago · · Dear Crush, · Explicit
I may seem a know-it-all good straight girl but I'm stupid when it comes to love especially when having a crush on someone. I wouldn't fall easily but if I do fall for someone, I fall deep and hard. Throughout my years, I have always had a crush on boys whom did not felt the same way. It was always one-sided and unrequited and so I avoided romance because I was used to it only bringing pain in my life. I've successfully done it but then I bumped into you. I do admit that it wasn't only you who I bumped into, I did found some guys attractive from time to time but this time is just different because aside from being attracted to you, I also feel like this is more than attraction. That I admit that I am having a crush on you. But this just can't be? All the 17 years of my life I always identified myself as straight but now... I am having a crush on a girl? I am having a crush on you? You made me doubt myself and made me question my sexuality because my feelings for you are strong and real, nothing like I've felt for the past 2 years now. But am I really willing to risk it all? For you? I cannot say yes to that for so many reasons. Firstly, I live with a family who surely will deny me and my feelings especially if I identify myself as something else. Secondly, you have a girlfriend and thirdly I know you don't see me that way. I can go with many more reasons but knowing and respecting your relationship with someone you love is far more important than my stupid crush on you. I just feel really frustrated right now because again, once again I am here falling hard and having a crush again on another wrong person. Either taken or does not see me that way. I do accept now that I am destined to live alone and really not include romance in my life. My feelings for you are still not that deep and so I can still erase and forget this but always seeing you everyday does make it difficult. Although no worries, just like everybody else I had a crush on, I surely will uncrush you too. I just want to say thank you I guess because you made me feel that way again and I admit with my hopeless romantic single heart of mine, I did miss that spark.