what i hold

a part of me still loves him- the person he was before he met her

-but let me make one thing clear i will never stoop that low again

-i will never beg

- i got down basically on my knees and begged him to love me to stay -even after everything

-but he chose her and I don't hold any resentment over that

-what i hold is the fact that he was fucking her while telling me i was the only one he was talking to and telling me he loved me

- what i hold is the fact that he left without telling me anything

- i absolutely refuse to believe a person could act the way he did with me and have it all be an act at least in the beginning - -it is fucking impossible

- what i hold is that he made me graduate early and actually started to make plans to move in together this year for my college at the U

-what i hold is that he bought the apartment and she moved in with him- not me

- what i hold is that he looked me straight in the eyes and lied straight to my face

-and yet i still can't fully hold on to any of those things because we were never in a relationship were we.