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I’ve never seen anyone safeguard their heart so much, as if I must be trying to trample on it, when I’m not. I don’t know if it is as someone else has hurt him, I know they have, or is it more that I’ve unknowingly hurt him, and he’s trying to pay me back. I don’t know what I’m supposed to do that my feelings for him only keep growing and still yet he has cut much away from me like he no longer likes me yet never lets me go. I’m all in and he’s one foot in then a whole leg back as if I’m quicksand and he’s trying to get away from something that’s sinking him. He only likes to play head games and I’m a very literal person so this could go on forever since we can’t seem to stay away from each other and it reaches a point where you simply throw your hands up and say ‘whatever it is, is what it will be’, I’m stuck and in love.
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I know how you feel. Some people are afraid of commitment in a relationship due to past relationships issues. However, be wary of people who are afraid of commitment in general. There are many, many guys out there who try to worm their way out of getting into a committed relationship simply because they view a relationship as too restrictive and want to keep some freedom. Sometimes the guy doesn’t care enough about you to want to date you, but he does enjoy having someone to talk to so he strings you along. Thus you are forever stuck in the talking phase. I was in this situation once, and I literally had to just completely cut contact and stop responding to the guys snapchats because I had asked him what we are and he had ghosted me for a week then popped back up same as always. I was tired on being in the talking zone because I know I want a serious relationship so I left. If it’s been some time and this guy is stringing you along and bulks at any relationship talk but still wants you to be there for him to talk to, then you need to decide if you are okay staying in the talking zone or if you want something more serious. It’s okay to want a serious relationship. You deserve someone who will want to commit to you and be with you only. Who isn’t afraid of commitment and admiring love and feelings. A guy who can honesty express his feelings is instantly above most other guys in my book. I get it’s easy to be wrapped up in love, but you can’t stay here forever. And the longer this goes on the more you will long for a resolution. Therefore, if you want commitment and he doesn’t, then it is better for you to break things off now than later. Don’t invest your time if he doesn’t value your time enough to be mature and either tell you he will commit or not. You deserve better and will end up finding better anyway, so save yourself some tears as I wish I had. Never think you can change a guy. Look for a guy who matches you without you needing to change them.
ReplyOP: Thank you for this, I appreciate it. I would never pressure any guy for a commitment. It seems that would only cause resentment and a trapped feeling and relationships are hard enough without that sort of added pressure. I am not into fixing anyone and I do like to tag along for some of the chaos of these men for the heightened sensations, the ride. I’m the daughter of an alcoholic so there’s comfort/familiarity to me in these lifestyles. Aside from finding a man with years of sobriety, I can’t think of any man I would be more interested in than my current. I am only able to go 1 1/2 days without him and then am wanting him right back where he was. Hence, I feel stuck.
ReplyBeen there, done that. Never want to again. Eventually got sick of sitting there, feeling like my life was on pause for him and he was just messing with my head because he couldn't figure his own stuff out. At the end of it all, a man that truly wants to be with you, will be with you. He will take steps to show you that.
I had to stop communicating with the guy I loved because it would have gone on forever...at least until he found something else. I made it very clear what I wanted and he never could settle into it. I wasn't happy being all in and feeling alone in it. It hurt like hell to walk away and I still miss him but I feel better knowing that the next relationship that I'm in will be with someone who 100% chooses me and doesn't play those games. I deserved better. And so do you.
Hope this made sense. It's 1 am and I'm half asleep, LOL. Good luck. I hope everything works out for you. ❤️
ReplyOP: Thank you so much for this. We are both very independent people. If anything, he has been the one needing the most patience and his patience is something I find very attractive. I hear you about not putting your eggs in one basket for too long, especially with someone who is non-committal. I do have at least a couple other men checking in ever so often to see if I’m free of this current relationship. It has gone on a very long time, so there is something to be said about the other men’s dedication and patience.
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