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I know it’s so superficial to be worrying about something like a relationship but am I not normal? I’ve never had a crush or been in a relationship for all the 22yrs I have been on this earth and I’m starting to wonder if there’s something wrong with me. And I am confusing myself so much with all the info that is bombarded onto me that I’m not sure anymore about what I want. I do know that I’d like one but I am also sure that I’d like not to lose control and become obsessed over another. It is hard as well for me to like anyone unless I’ve been in their friendship for quite a few years I think. I don’t know if I like men or women or both or none. I’m lost. And I hate feeling this way. I feel like I’m missing out on something. Is it ok if I don’t get into a relationship? Why does it seem so Important to my peers?
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I can't answer this question for you. I can only offer my experience.
My 12 year experience in a happy healthy relationship is it's never been a case of 'losing control and becoming obsessed'. That's a negative, fearful way of looking at things. It's not like that at all.
What it is is committing yourself to another person. You don't lose yourself, but it does challenge you to grow, to be a better person, to improve your life. It's no longer just about you anymore, you factor in the other person into everything you do, you become a team that supports and loves one another.
On the flip side, society and hollywood romanticizes relationships in a toxic and unrealistic way. Valentines marketing jams chocolates and roses and teddybears down your throat every year. It causes immature people to jump into relationships before they are even ready which is why so many people can't stick it out and divorce.
What people don't realize is relationships are constant hard work. But rewarding, I wouldn't be in one if I didn't find it valuable and fulfilling.
That all being said, I think a person can still grow and become a better person without being in a relationship.
As for you missing out on something? That's for you to decide. I've met plenty of elderly people without children or spouses who are perfectly content with their lot, and there's nothing wrong with that. If you really want to know what it's like, try being in one. There's only one way to find out. At least if you try it and decide yeah no that was not for me, you'll know 100%
ReplyHumans need different types of connections, but you shouldn't rush because there's a lot of bad messed up people out there.
ReplyIf you are happy being just by yourself then there is nothing abnormal with that... I think everyone should be like that ... Plus getting it a relationship does not bring only the good stuff but there are many fights and argue as well ... but if you find someone with whom ypu are willing to go on even if it meant you guys would have to go through arguments in future then you should date that person... but there is no point in rushing into a relationship... so do not get affected by the people around you, you are only 22 there is so much for you to see yet , so if you are happy being by yourself then there is nothing wrong with that.
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