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I need to stop loving you
2 months ago · · Love,
I am in love, madly in love with this one guy for almost an year now. We never dated but we were in a situationship. I had hopes that one day he will like me back too. But 3 months back when i was bit away from him, he started dating someone else. It feels weird, i know he always said that i am only his best friend, and he doesnt feel anything romantically for me. But i had hopes, because of this gestures. The way he used to take care of me hold my hand, sing for me, the way he was always there for me.
I thought that one day he will realise that how much he likes me but that dream seems to shatter now. He is in a relationship with totally someone else, and but the weird thing is he still takes care of me like he used to earlier, the only thing thats changed is we do not get physicall at all, which used to happen earlier once in a while.
The weird thing that made me all confused was, few days back we both were just watching a movie and slept togther, in the middle of night he kissed me, i thought it was a dream but then when he realised that he did something wrong he got up and left. He thought i was asleep and i didnt know what happened. I am leaving the town very soon, it hurts to think that i will not be able to see him. But it feels that its a good thing. I will maybe finally able to move on. I know he is a walking red flag but he is the only on in this world who actually cares about me, he says that only out of friendship, but i beg to differ. Anyways it time to start afresh.
Somewhere or the other i still want him to realize my worth and i just want him to say i love you once to me. Am i being to selfish knowing that he is dating someone. I felt the guilt of doing something wrong to that third person. But he i am know each other for more than a year and he knows i love him, and it feels weird to accept that recentlly he started dating someone else. It feels as if he is afraid to lose a friend again, cause his ex was his best friend. Therefore he is dating someone randomlly just like this.