What are you looking for?
1 month ago · · Friendship,
i really don’t know what to do i haven’t been myself lately. I’ve been having suicidal thoughts again i know i won’t actually do it because in know there is too many people that care about me. So many things have been happening in my life that is out of control and i can’t do anything about it and it makes me feel worthless. I used to tell my friend all my problems after it got worse after i lost my home to a hurricane in august of 2021. I don’t tell her anything anymore out of fear she might not want to be friends anymore because i’m always giving her bad news. i don’t want her to start seeing me as a burden so i stopped telling her everything. I don’t have no one to comfort me anymore but i don’t want our friendship just to be based on her always having to comfort me. Her and her family have done so much for such as letting me stay by their house because they knew how much i didn’t like staying with my grandparents. I wish i could tell her things are getting better for me but they aren’t. At night i go to bed thinking that world would be better with me gone. My mom doesn’t have to worry about me still having connections to my grandparents cause i’m forced to live her because of school. she’ll finally be able to cut them off and start her healing journey. They will be sad for a little while. I wish i could see into the future just to see what my actions will do. Would things get better for me or am I stuck with no way out?