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Maybe nothing is 'wrong' but I feel so so different from everyone else I meet. Interests, sense of humour, energy. I never really click with people and that's why I am so alone.
People say that college will be the best years of your life. Well, that's only if you're an extroverted white male apparently. So far, it's been nothing but anxiety, insecurity and loneliness. It sucks hard because I really envisioned myself making lifelong friends here but I have 0 friends. The classmates I talk to when I'm there are hardly friends, just peers or colleagues that I am nice to.
But I really really want a friendship that has a connection, ya know? I've never had that before. Probably because I'm too different and weird compared to the majority of this generations' girls. I imagine doing so many fun things, so much stuff I would like to do with a group of friends but I don't HAVE a group of friends.
Ah well. It is what it is. I hope I find someone I connect with and who understands me. I hope so.
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Life is a journey of discovering you true nature. It is less about adding and more about subtracting - subtracting confusion and unhelpful labels. You are already enough but you just don't see it that way right now. Stay busy doing what you must and as time and circumstances permit, pursue or do what delights you. This person you think you are who needs friends is a fictional character. The less you think about this person, the better off you will be. Be fully engaged in the life you have and welcome all encounters. Learn what you can, do some helpful things along the way, and have some fun. Someone will notice your free and confident spirit and will want to travel with you for a while. This should continue as long as the benefits for doing so are mutual. When this stops being the case, bless them and travel on without them.
None of us have much control over what happens next especially when it involves other people and factors. Our superpowers reside in way we react /respond to our encounters. We really don't have a life to live as we choose. LIFE has us. Each of us is what LIFE is doing where we are right now. When we give up on this false sense of control and let it be (not my will, but thy will be done) LIFE will bring more light and love into this world through our presence.
You are fine. You just don't know it yet.
Replyoh
ReplyTry joining a group for something you're interested in. Look for places you're more likely to find others with similar interests. Not that interests are everything, sometimes shared values can be even more important than shared interests. You'll find ppl but it may or may not be through college. ❤️
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